How can I cock block thee, let me count the ways…

We’ve all been there at one point or another. We hit on a girl at a bar only for our raging ex to come out of nowhere and start a scene. We try to pick someone up at the mall, but our suave friend swoops in and gets there before us. Getting cock blocked is the worst feeling, but online dating eliminates that worry.

My favorite thing about online dating is when you’re talking to single ladies, you have their full attention and you don’t need to worry about someone else coming and stealing the spotlight.

With that being said, it’s now all on you if you screw things up. Sure there’s no one there to cock block you, but you can end up doing it to yourself by saying or doing the wrong thing, which -trust me- is easy to do.

Preventing the Self-Cock Block:

1- Telling her you don’t like kids. She may dislike kids, but I can guarantee that she dislikes guys who dislikes kids more.

2- Don’t tell her how much you make. No matter what it is, it’s not enough.

3-Don’t tell her about your Hannah Montana DVD collection. In fact, don’t tell anyone about your Hannah Montana DVD collection.

4- Don’t send her naked pictures unless she asks. Trust me, if she doesn’t ask, she doesn’t want.

5- Don’t tell her she looks like a celebrity. I once told a girl online that she looks like Drew Barrymore, which I thought was a huge compliment, but it turns out she hates Dre Barrymore because she waited on her once at a restaurant and she was a bitch. Cockblocking myself on that one= successful.

Online dating definitely brings cock block insurance from other people, but remember not to cock block yourself! If you’re an idiot, this will take some effort. If you’re not, then your little friend Common Sense is about to become your best asset. Be smart and keep your cock free of blocks.

I guess I’ll go ahead and answer the “What the hell is a dating coach?” question before I get into the discussion. A dating coach is like mix between an interactive therapist who irons out your problems with women and a guide on how to be suave. Remember the movie where Will Smith helped Kevin James get laid by a girl much hotter than him? Well, he played a dating coach in that.

So being single men in a competitive world, is it worth it going to a dating coach? Well, that’s a tough call.

There’s a lot of dating coaches out there with great experiences and wonderful success rates, but the problem with dating coaches are that there isn’t anything to be certified in, so you never know what you’re going to get. It’s not like picking a therapist where you can see their credentials and schooling in the subject. Dating coaches are usually self taught and self proclaimed professionals in the dating world. When you’re first trying to find one, you can contact them and ask for references from former clients, but even that’s difficult because most of the time their clients wish to remain anonymous. It’s a gamble hiring a dating coach, and one that can cost you quite a lot. For the most part their fees are on par with other councilors, and they tend to charge $80-$130 an hour for starting rates, and increase from there with their background in the subject.

But don’t let all that scare you. Hiring a dating coach is a great way to increase your chance to meet local women and get a date. A close friend hired one a year ago and he learned a lot. His particular dating coach split up their sessions into different topics. They’d focus on things like proper behavior when approaching women, fashion and self-esteem techniques, and relationship building seminars.

His coach was really involved in everything. He didn’t play as a matchmaker, but when the time came for him to go out and find someone, his coach went with him and coached him through the whole thing (not right beside him obviously, or the lady probably would have thought he was pretty weird).

It worked out great for him. He kept the girlfriend he found while with his coach for a while, and it ended up improving his day to day life as a whole. He became more confident and assertive in conversation, and gained a strong sense of  self-worth in the process.

So do I think everyone should go empty their bank accounts on a dating coach? No. A lot of it you can learn in $10 self-help books from Barnes and Noble. But with the right coach and a willing student, it can boost your dating life to somewhere you’ve never been. But if all else fails, head to Blockbuster. I’m sure they still have Hitch.

We all get to that place where it’s been a while since you’ve had a date and you’re thinking it would just be easier to get back together with your ex. Before you forget your reasons for breaking up in the first place, take a minute to explore the options you still have to find quality single ladies.

Meeting local women can be hard on your own, but the online dating world is filled with females in the same boat as you. Just out of a relationship, still not comfortable with going up to a stranger and striking up a conversation, and so desperate for someone to spend time with that they’re actually willing to go back to the ex.

There’s sometimes a stigma attached to online dating because people assume that there must be something wrong with a person if the only way they can find a date is on the internet. The fact is most people on dating websites either don’t have time to go out and fish for a boyfriend, enjoy the instant connection they get online, or, like you, have just gotten out of a relationship. There are plenty of quality women online that are the whole package you’re looking for, minus the crazy baggage your ex came along with.

Nothing feels better than a fresh start, but with ex’s, a fresh start is never really ‘fresh’. We’ve all been there– get back together, have the honeymoon phase for about three days, then start the same fights and arguments that ended the relationship in the first place. When you turn to finding someone online, you have a real clean slate where you can find something great, not like dating the ex where you’er just find something to reuse.

A new relationship is always a better choice than trying to squeeze life out of a dead one. Next time you’re feeling lonely and looking at the photo album from the time you and your ex went to Cabo, delete her number and start yourself an online profile. You never know who you’re going to meet on the internet, but as long as it’s not your ex, you’re off to a great start.

People have a hard time starting conversations over the internet with a stranger, so they always start with the easiest ice breakers: Where are you from, and what do you do for a living? Well, the second of the two questions can be a blow to the guy at times like these if you’re currently unemployed.

Studies show that one top things women are attracted to in a man is  confidence, but it’s hard to be self assured when you’re not working.

Life is stressful without a job. Unless you have been smart with your savings for your life, then money, bills, and general day-to-day life can be huge weights on your shoulders. Online dating can, unfortunately, be a constant reminder of those woes. With places to fill out your employment information right on your profile and women asking what you do, it’s hard to get it off your mind.

You have to remember that you’re not alone. Millions of people have lost their jobs in the last few years, and many of those people are still currently dating online. When you have to tell someone you’re in between jobs feeling embarrassed comes naturally, but keep in mind that this probably isn’t the first time they’ve had someone tell them that recently. Most people are directly effected by companies downsizing, whether it’s a friend or a family member.

When the topic of employment comes up, always stay positive. Even if you aren’t currently set, it’s still important to not show signs of discouragement as women want to be dating someone who can look on the bright side of things and pull through hard times.  When someone asks you about work, be honest. Tell them about what you were doing in the past, why you lost your position, and express your passion for your career, outlining the reasons you’re not giving up, and what you’re going to do in the future to get back on track. When women see that you have a good track record and plan of action, they’ll often overlook the fact that you are unemployed because they like that you’re not giving up.

Also, don’t give up on turning your online dates into real-world dates just because you don’t have extra cash. There’s plenty of fun, free ideas for first dates. Things like picnics and walks in the park or at the beach put you in a positive surrounding with a great opportunity to talk and get to know eachother.

Just because you’re not working doesn’t mean you shouldn’t date. In fact, you should date more now that you have the time! Keep your head up and your attitude positive. After all, women want to date you for you as a person, not for your position.

When you start online dating, it’s more or less a free for all with who you talk to. At least for me it was, and I from mine and my friends experiences, I assume that it more or less works this way with everyone. You hop online, you start talking to all the single ladies that respond to your first message, and you go from there. Although this is a great way to meet new people, it eventually has to end, and it’s not always easy.

Let’s take a trip down memory road, shall we?

I first started online dating when I moved out of country for a photography job. It was the first time I’ve moved to a country where I didn’t know anyone, and I thought the best way to meet people was online. It was difficult at first since I was moving to Paris and my french was minimal at best, but there were a lot of english-speaking dating websites for the area, so I stuck to those for the first few months. In my first weeks on the site, I was talking to dozens of people just to get a hang of the kinds of conversations people had on sites like that. After that, I narrowed my time to four women. I was getting busy at work and I didn’t have time to speak to too many people, but I felt like I had a connection with these four and wanted to continue talking to them.

After about four months of this, I slowly dipped my toes into the ‘let’s meet’ waters. It was great. I met three of the four within a week of each other, and met the fourth shortly after. I still didn’t have many friends at this point because, like I said, I was busy with work, but meeting with the people I had been talking with online changed my outlook on Paris. They took me to places that I would have never been to on my own and gave me a real natives perspective on the city.

After a back and forth game of this for almost half a year, they each expressed that they wanted to take things to the next level. Seeing each other more, becoming exclusive, meeting the parents, the works. But what was I suppose to do? These all started off as internet friends and now I was basically carrying on four full-fledge relationships at the same time.

It was time to end it with three. THREE! I have a hard enough time ending it with one girl at a time, let alone three.

I took a little time to think about things and stayed with a girl named Valentine (Val-en-teen, not Valentine like the hearts-and-candy holiday). I did the first break up in person and told her what had been going on. I wanted to meet people, ended up talking to great people, started friendships with them, and now had to pick one,  who wasn’t her. It didn’t go over well. She wasn’t so much offended that I was ending things with her as she was mad that I had been in somewhat-getting-serious relationships with people that weren’t her. I guess I saw where she was coming from. Even though we hadn’t discussed it, if I found out she was doing this with other guys, I wouldn’t have been too happy.

So lesson learned there, I didn’t want to tell the whole truth to dumpee #2. Instead I simply told her that I had found someone else and I couldn’t see her anymore. This went over just as bad as #1. She cried, she yelled a little, and eventually she stormed out. I wasn’t so much thinking about how bad that sucked as I was thinking about the fact that I still had to do this one more time.

And how did I end #3? Just stopped talking to her. I didn’t call her anymore, I didn’t answer her e-mails anymore, and I didn’t see her again. But France is a small place, and we ended up having mutual friends after a while who told me that ending things the way I did sent her into a downwards spiral for a good two months. I felt like a dick! I did that? I made her feel that bad, all because I didn’t want to man up and tell her what had happened? I felt terrible.

My point is, finding tones of women to date online is great, but there comes a point when you have to consciously end it with people in order to strengthen what you have with someone else. It’s a you can’t have your cake and eat it too situation. By all means, when you start online dating, explore your options, but be smart enough to know when you have something good enough to dedicate your time to. But please, whatever you do, don’t pull a paris.