Last month I went on a date with a broad I met online. My first mistake was probably going on a date with a broad I met online, but hindsight is 20/20, and obviously I didn’t know then what I know now. My second mistake was sticking around after she told me she believed in spirit animals, and that she believed her’s was Beyonce. At first I thought she was kidding, but after she went on for half an hour about how she thought mine was a sheep (uh… thanks?), I realized she was being serious.
Now, I’ve heard of women thinking they’re similar to celebrities, but to believe that a celebrity is spiritually guiding you through life clearly means you’re fucking insane.
If you’re dating a chick who thinks her spiritual animal is someone on the Billboard Hot 40, you should probably start running.